I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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