Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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