I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize