you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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