Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize