Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
