Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
we're so committed to being not committed
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