who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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