Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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