you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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