why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
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Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
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My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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