It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i dont even know how to be here
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
