dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
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i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
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We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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