Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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