...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
