you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
