My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
