i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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