Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
