so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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