Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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