Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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