Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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