the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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