so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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