everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
