If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
BRING THE BAGELS
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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