you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
