Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
