I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Apparently you make a good broom.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
