He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
