he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
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my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
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There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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