Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
