They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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