shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
