Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
