Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Randomize
