Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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