I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i dont even know how to be here
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Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
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then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
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