I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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