We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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