She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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