i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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