Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
