Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
