6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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