after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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