I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
