I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
