the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
