after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
