I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
