She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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