yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
