lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
