how can u be prego again
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
