Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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