Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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