it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
