im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
