You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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