i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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