Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
