I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
